Riya celebrates Women’s day – part 1

Hi Riya, come in!

(Riya works as a PR manager in a healthcare firm. She’s a rather gentle and timid person –quite unlike Sara, who as you know, is always looking for a reason to knock me on the head!)

“Hi…I am so exhausted… it’s been like, a hectic week with women’s day celebrations at my office, in full swing!”,she said, collapsing in a heap on the sofa.

So, how’s it going so far?

“Yeah, it’s been good. Most of us ate out to celebrate; some of my friends listened to speeches from business women; and a few more were running a campaign to raise awareness of women’s issues in the industry…you know, about how women hardly make it to senior, board level jobs!”

Wow!….that’s quite a handful to take on for one week. Well done.

“Thanks. Still…it seems such an uphill battle….we have made progress as women in society the last few decades, but it’s still a man’s world!”

Hmmm.…(I was reflecting on what she said!)

By man’s world, you mean, a world dominated by the male ego?

“Yeah, that’s what I came to talk to you about…I read your posts…am I missing something?”

Okie…look. Feeling down or angry about it will not help; nor will it help if I just try to cheer you up. Why don’t we look at the situation with a fresh pair of eyes…if you are game, that is?

“Sure”(her face lit up).

First off, why on earth do you want to compete with a male ego, for a man’s world, using the same methods that men use?

Secondly, what makes you think a man’s world is worth fighting for?

(That got her stumped a bit!)

“Are you saying we shouldn’t compete with men?”

No. I am just offering an alternative. It’s up to you to use or discard it.

“Is there an alternative?”

Tell me Riya.…Which woman‘s day did you celebrate?

“Huh?”

Well…here are a few clips….look at them carefully and tell me…which of these women did you celebrate today?

“huh? no particular type, I guess”

Yes – that’s good..because there is no ‘standard woman‘ you can celebrate.

In fact, if you did, that would have been an injustice to women.

In a way, didn’t you celebrate all of them on Women’s day?

“I agree…they all seem to capture that essence of being a woman, in many different ways”

Yes Riya. Not only that; it shows you what Men – at least the way you see them- are not!

“Go on…”

So, what I am asking you to consider is this.

If you define your goal as taking on men, you will end up destroying what you are in order to win!

“I am not sure I want that, but all women need to make that choice, don’t they?”

Tell me this, if we want to celebrate all women, what is it exactly that we can celebrate?

“That seems difficult to nail down…I guess we must celebrate how different women are!”

OK Riya…let’s explore that.

Let’s start at the level of the cosmos…are there male planets and female stars?

“No”

At the smallest level….can you identify which subatomic particles are different for men or women?

“No… can’t even call your favorite Higgs-Boson a male or female!”

Let’s come up a level. Look at the basic substances that our bodies – for both men and women – are made of…

Can earth be separated into male and female?

“No”

Can water be separated into male and female?

“No”

What about air?

“No”

What about space?

“No”

What about fire?

“No”

Can any physical difference between men and women come from any other basic substance?

“No”

If you close your eyes, can you separate your thoughts into male and female?

“No”

What about your breath?

“No”

What about sensations?

“No”

What about the passage of time?

“No”

Can any psychological difference between men and women come from any other internal phenomenon?

“No”

Then, what is the difference you want to celebrate, Riya?

(There was a long silence, while she considered it!)

“I don’t understand…I know there are differences, even in the way we use the brain !”

When the line appears, differences will appear. When we focus on the differences, the line becomes stronger. Why get stuck in this loop?

When you sit down and search for a difference, you come up with nothing substantial as the basis for a difference.

“Still…we are unique!”

Unique? Sure. Different? No!

“hmmmm…ok! I am with you on that! But how can we succeed as women, with whatever makes us unique?”

Now, that’s an awesome question!

(And then her phone rang.)

“Excuse me…I got to take this call” she said.