Ralph parked the car at the entrance to the beach. It was a warm summer day, but the late-evening sea breeze was welcoming. We walked to a relatively quiet spot, put down our picnic hamper and made ourselves comfortable. A few kids were busy at work, building sand castles and some couples were walking by the shore, enjoying each other’s company.
I was with Ralph, his wife Emma and their four-year old daughter Kathy. Ralph had moved to the coast in March after losing his job in the recession. He and Emma were rebuilding their life bit by bit and the stress was showing on them. The human spirit however, is stronger than we think, and when we put the happiness of our loved ones ahead of our own, we find deep reserves of courage to tap into. So it was with Ralph and Emma. They never let the strain show on Kathy, and wanted her to grow up with self-confidence.
Soon, Kathy took her mummy away to play in the water, after assigning me the important task of watching over her toys. Ralph was lost in thought, looking at the ocean, and I let him be.
After a while, he broke the silence.
“I read something the other day on the Net that really disturbed me”, he said
What was it about?
“That the world is being controlled by just a handful of people, an international cartel, who are pursuing their own agenda”
What agenda?
“Control of the world’s wealth, resources and people”
Hmm..
“No matter how hard we work, we can never be free, as long as the cartel holds the power. Forget for a moment about me and Emma. I am more worried about Kathy and the world she will grow up in.”
(This was indeed a difficult period for a lot of hardworking families who had lost their jobs and wealth in the recession, so I was sensitive to his pain.)
You know Ralph, when I was a kid, about Kathy’s age, I had the same problem
“as a kid?!”
Yeah…I thought my dad was the most powerful man in the world.
(He smiled) “I know what you mean”
I thought he controlled everything and he could do whatever he wanted.
(Ralph became attentive)
Once I started paying attention to his power, my love for him turned to respect and then to fear.
“Fear?”
Yeah. I realized he could give me more goodies whenever he wanted, or take it away from me whenever he wanted – like turning on or off a tap. He controlled the supply of happiness. That made me afraid of him.
“But that is silly, right? I am sure he was not manipulating you or anything. He was just adjusting his expenses and needs based on his situation.”
(I smiled). True. But as a kid, at the time, I thought he had a hidden agenda to dominate me and control my life.
So, I thought he was the most powerful man in the world.
Till the day he lost his job.
Then, I realized that there are others more powerful than him.
But once I realized he was powerless, my fear of him turned again to respect and then to love.
“because you saw how vulnerable he really was?”
Yup.
Later on, my professor at college was the most powerful person in the world.
“Your professor?”
yeah…because she had the power to give me higher or lower grades, thereby impacting my career.
Many years later, at work, my manager became the most powerful person in the world….because he controlled how much I earned
“I feel there is a message there, but it is still fuzzy”
All of them were powerful in my world, Ralph…but not so in the world.
“But a group can use the force of their power on all people, cant they?”
In my humble opinion, power has always been about one thing: How can I make you do what I want you to do?
Since the birth of society, people have used various tools to achieve this: physical strength, magic, paper (currency), debt, tears, law, unemployment, promises, metal (gold), religion, threats, incentives – to name a few.
They can do it because each of us values something. What we value, becomes a weakness that others can exploit, if they choose to. That is when things get imbalanced.
“Then we can’t expect fairness”
That is what it looks like – because you can’t see the entire timeline of how things unfold through the ages.
Power is a grand delusion, Ralph. It affects both sides – those who think that they are all-powerful and those who live in fear of others’ power.
Neither stands on its own.
(He was reflecting on this, while I waved to Kathy who was trying to show me how to jump over a wave.)
“Wow! Neat. So, no group is all-powerful?”
As long as their power depends on someone or something outside them, how can they be all-powerful?
Put in a different way…there are no permanent winners or losers.
“Are you sure?”
Look at the shoreline, Ralph. What do you see?
“Waves coming and going…people getting their feet wet”
Now, look at it this way.
The waves are the supply of whatever is valuable
The people standing at the shore are society.
When a wave comes to shore, some people’s feet get wet and they become happy. Then, the wave recedes, and some people become sad. But they will wait in hope for the next wave to come.
Everyone waits at the shore to catch a wave. Every wave, in turn, wants people to play in it. The game will go on as long as there are waves and there are people ready to play.
It doesn’t matter who is creating the waves and what their motives are – the effect is still the same – Different people will become richer and poorer at the end of each wave.
It has been played all over the world, right through history, with various waves.
“So…we can never enjoy this game?”
Of course you can. The child that is building a sand castle near the water never gives up or blames the wave. It is your job that was destroyed, not you. Rejuvenate yourself and get back in the game – wiser and stronger.
Do what you love.
Create with all your spirit.
Serve as many people as you can with your skills.
Don’t worry about when the next wave will wash away your sandcastle.
Do your work with love, not fear.
“What if I have had enough of this game?”
When you’ve decided you had enough, you can always leave the beach game. Live within your means, don’t borrow excessively, feel contented and find joy in connecting with the people and things you missed in your life. Resist the temptation to run back into the water, when they announce that the next wave is coming.
“That’s it?”
Yeah. You can’t live long enough to keep winning the game forever. So, play when you need to and when you’ve had enough, let go.
Allow a new set of players to get in.
“The grand cycle must go on!” he said, smiling, as the sun began to set in the horizon.
As with all games in the universe (I laughed!)
(I got up and dusted the sand off. Ralph was looking quite relaxed now, as if a great weight had rolled off his shoulder!)
“Perhaps..(he continued)…my purpose in this life is completed!”
Well.. like a Master said…there’s one way to find out.
If you are still alive, it isn’t.
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Our only job is to know that it just a “game” and be a continuous observer of this fact
beautiful :)