(Riya finished her call and jumped right back in to the discussion)
“I still can’t get over the fact that I couldn’t find any essential difference …”
The difference starts to appear only at one level, Riya, like we saw with the table. If you investigate, you will see that the same building blocks appear differently under different conditions.
As one might see in a kaleidoscope.
I’ll give you another example.
Hydrogen and oxygen are highly flammable and can start a fire
But they can also combine to form water and put out a fire
Inherently, there is no ‘fireness’ in fire and ‘waterness’ in water…if you get what I mean.
(She was thoughtful now!)
That’s where both men and women lose the plot …they wouldn’t look at each other as mysterious objects, once they realize that there’s no essential difference!
Once they realize that, they wouldn’t need to crave for or cling to or attempt to dominate the other!
They can enjoy each other’s presence in their lives without fear or aversion or confusion or lust or guilt or regret
For they are both one! Has always been that way!
“I heard of this when I was a kid. Unfortunately… it’s not that way anymore. I notice that stories of my culture and religion glorify only the stories of male avatars”
Those who do that forget a basic fact. Every male avatar can only fulfill his purpose in the shadow of a woman’s presence.
The woman in question might motivate or obstruct or support or protect or nurture or heal or charm or bless or curse or seduce or destroy an Avatar.
But if you take her presence out of the story, the Avatar’s story itself will not unfold in the world.
“You mean the old saying…behind every successful man, there is a woman”?
No. That is crap. No one is leading or following.
I am saying that their stories are inseparable.
“I was asking you before the phone call…how can we use what makes us unique to succeed?”
Tell me Riya, is it fair to say that women have to deal with more transitions in life than men have to –physically, psychologically, medically, socially?
“It isn’t fair. It feels unfair!”
Perhaps – had it not been for the fact that nature’s given you a unique way to have a fulfilling life, given the transitions you have to go through.
“This sounds interesting… What is it?”
It is energy, Riya. Women can easily tap into it – both in quality and quantity.
At a personal level, I refer to it as – managing personal energy – it means managing one’s physical, emotional, mental and spiritual energy.
When women learn to manage and direct their energy, they can manage the transitions they go through and achieve success in the field they choose
In ancient days, the art and science of managing personal energy was explored in various ways – Pranayama, Hatha yoga, Tai-Chi, mantras, prayer, mudras, music, dance, chakras etc.
You can still learn these, but please look for genuine masters.
Now, coming back to the topic of ‘women’s day’ – If you want to celebrate all women, celebrate energy.
Whether you are a scientist or a healer or a working mother or a student – it’s there for all of us to experience, in one form or another
Tell me something…who do you turn to for advice on having a fulfilling life, career etc?
“Well…I read the same self-help books as others do. Talk to my dad, my managers at work…the usual”
Riya, a lot of the advice women get, convinces them to adopt tactics that make men successful!
Skip it!
There is more than 1 way to succeed.
You can solve problems by breaking it down into separate parts. You can also find new solutions by connecting the parts.
You can freeze your energy one activity at a time. You can also fill up your day with a continuous flow of energy, across activities.
You can apply force to obtain things that matter to you. You can also be a force to create meaning in the lives of people who matter to you.
Consider which approach comes naturally to you, as a man or woman.
In any situation – whether at home or work or in society, we have a choice.
We can step in to a situation to compete or we can step in to complete!
Either ways, its’ fun – once you see what’s really happening!
You’ll see an ever-changing dance.
“Can women use this to achieve work-life balance?”
Riya, ‘work-life balance’ is just a concept. A map; Don’t cling to it. If you do, you’ll start to see it as an issue all the time.
What you are really after is to achieve success with balance.
The clue is this.
If you don’t manage your ego, you will lose touch with reality
If you don’t manage your energy, you will lose balance.
If you learn to manage both, you can achieve success with balance – in whatever activity you undertake – as a man or woman – at home or work or in society
If you let go of one of them, you might still succeed, but end up feeling empty, even after achieving success.
(It was getting dark, and Riya had to leave. Her kids were waiting for her at home, and no doubt missing their mum!)
(As she was leaving, she paused at the door)
“One last question. I once heard a ‘Guru’ say that women are not suited to pursue the path of enlightenment…is that true?”
(I looked at her curiously!)
Who says you are a woman? (I asked her, bringing her back to the treasure hunt)
The Urban Monk diaries 