Everything changes
Nothing lasts
Nothing is finished
Nothing is perfect
How beautiful
Now!
Ryan was up at the crack of dawn, as soon as his alarm went off. After getting dressed and ready, he stepped outside.
The sun was just starting to poke its face out of the sky.
He checked his watch.
5:00 am
He was on time, as the lady had instructed, ready for the day’s lesson.
I am always on time, he said to himself.
Unlike Jack, he quickly added as a mental footnote.
Where the heck is he anyway?
He looked inside the hut to see if Jack was up and about.
But Jack’s bed was empty. He was nowhere to be seen.
“What the….?”
He took a deep breath and sat down by the porch.
Why did I land up with this guy, of all people?
Why did I land up here anyway?
His thoughts went to the city – his home, his office, his colleagues..
What the hell am I doing here?
In a strange land, in a strange place, with strange people
He exhaled deeply.
Now..where is this lady?
She asked us to be ready at 5:00
And here I am waiting. Alone.
He looked at his watch again.
It was 5:45
Can’t she keep time?
She arrived after a while. Her hair was tossed back and there was the usual mischievous smile on her face.
“Hi..Good morning”, she greeted him.
“Hello”, scowled Ryan, without making any effort to hide his irritation.
“Feeling grumpy today?”, she asked
“Well..I was up promptly at the crack of dawn. But Jack is nowhere to be seen. You weren’t ready too….”. His voice trailed off, leaving a lot unsaid.
“So imperfect…the world!”, she said and sat down beside him.
That touched a raw nerve.
Ryan exploded.
“That’s precisely the point. The more I try to be perfect, the more imperfections I encounter. The more I become organized, the more disorganized people I meet. When I respect others’ time, why can’t they respect mine? Don’t people care anymore about discipline? I lead by example, don’t I? Why can’t they watch me and learn? But no, they wont! So, the more disciplined I become, the more frustrated I end up, watching over others. See now, Jack has disappeared somewhere. The result? Nothing ever happens on time, as planned.”
His ears turned red with anger.
There was no reaction from her. She just sat there with her face tilted slightly towards him.
He took a deep breath.
Felt better. He had let off enough steam.
They sat there for a while, looking out towards the horizon.
The sunrise was in progress.
Ryan continued his lament.
“Look at the sun. Arrives on time every day. Does its work and sets on time every day. When nature can be so perfect, why can’t people?”, Ryan asked.
“Ah. You are obsessed with work and time?” she asked innocently.
“Hullo. I beg to differ. This is not an obsession. I am just stating the facts.”, Ryan bristled with indignation.
“Well, if that is the case, you must know. There is no sunrise, noon or sunset.”
“WHAT!!”
“Yeah. The sun is where it is. The earth is where it is. The sun neither rises nor sets.
It is we who are obsessed with our own horizons.”
Silence.
After a while, she turned towards him.
“Have you ever finished anything in your life?”
“What?”
“Have you ever finished anything in your life?”
“I heard you the first time. I was just asking you what you mean by that question”.
“Why? You don’t understand English?”
Ryan felt more irritated now.
“I have had enough of these riddles and puzzles. Tell me things directly or don’t say them at all. If you want to say I am an idiot and a misfit in this world, just say so.”
“Have you ever finished anything in your life?”
“I have finished so many projects in my career. I have finished building my house. I have finished raising my children…”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course.”
“They are all completed? Finished?”
“Yeah”, he said, this time a little unconvincingly.
She turned away from him.
And started to draw some circles in the sand.
“What else?” he asked her
“Nothing”, she said, and began to carefully arrange some pebbles on the ground.
Ryan became angry again.
“See? You started a conversation and then left it incomplete.” He scowled.
“That’s because you finished it.”
Silence. This time, Ryan was embarrassed.
“Look. I am sorry if I was rude. It is just that I ….”, Ryan started.
“Do you like this?”, she interrupted him.
“Huh?”
“It looks really beautiful. I didn’t even notice how you did it. You have tremendous skill” he said in admiration.
“Thanks”, she blushed.
“But what is it?”, asked Ryan curiously.
“A pile of stones”, she said.
“No. I meant…what does it represent?”
“A pile of stones”, she answered.
“I don’t think so. This is deeper than that. This is a model of the world. You are trying to tell me that it is very disorganized and imbalanced.”
“Is it?”
“Well..the stones haven’t fallen down. But look at the way you have arranged them. Anyone can say that this formation is not going to last for long.”
“Why not?”
“Even if a single stone moves out of place, the whole formation will come crashing down.”
“Like this?” she asked, pulling out a stone from the base of the pile. The structure collapsed, scattering the stones on the ground.
Ryan gasped.
“Lord. Why did you do that? After taking so much effort to build it?”
“Build what?”
“That structure…that house…whatever it was.”
“Whatever structure or house you speak of, is not there Now.”
“Hello..” he laughed. “There was a structure of stones. You destroyed it“, he protested.
“I didn’t.” she said.
“But….but..” he stammered.
“The stones are still here, aren’t they?” she pointed to the stones on the ground. “They are just in a new formation. So, what structure was destroyed? Where? ”
Ryan gasped.
“Now you know what is disorganized and imbalanced “, she stood up and walked away.
Ryan sat stunned for a while, watching her leave. He then gathered his wits, got up and followed her.
“Please…wait.”, he called out.
She paused in her tracks, allowing Ryan to catch up with her.
“Please finish the lesson”, he said, almost pleading.
The expression on her face became grim.
“It will take a long time”, she admitted.
“I will be patient. I promise”, said Ryan.
“Ok then. Sit down”
“What? Here?”
“Yeah. I have work to attend to in the farm. Be seated and observe.
Once all activity around you is finished, the lesson is finished. You can return to the huts for breakfast.”
“Ok”.
“A small favour, please. On the way back, get my papa. He is always late for breakfast. Very forgetful in his old age.”
“Sure. Of course. Consider it done.”
She opened her umbrella and continued on her way.
Ryan sat down to observe.
He looked around to see what activity was happening. But there was nothing remarkable happening in his line of sight. It was a Sunday and there were no labourers working in the field.
What the hell should I wait for to be finished? he asked himself
He then relaxed. There is something else I need to learn, he told himself.
He took a few deep breaths and looked up and down.
He stopped looking for activity.
And he became aware.
Of all the activity around him.
The clouds were moving, changing shape and size in the backdrop of the clear blue sky. The sun was still on its path through the sky, spraying colors on the way. He saw a bird alight on a branch of a tree. He saw the paddy wave and dance in the wind. He then looked down. An ant was busy crawling up his trousers. He then noticed his breath – moving. Never still. He felt his heart beating.
He slowly began to accept all of them in his awareness.
Time passed. He became still.
The more activity he became aware of and accepted in his awareness, the more stillness he felt.
And then came the insight.
Nothing is finished.
He sat there.
At peace…..with all the activity around him.
And he didn’t know for how long.
…until the bite of a red ant on his leg caught his attention.
He hurriedly checked his watch.
It was 9:00 am.
“Good Lord. I have been sitting here for over an hour. $h@t! I forgot to get her dad from the hut in time for breakfast.”
He got up and ran towards the huts. He reached the old man’s hut and knocked on the door, panting for breath.
The door opened and the old man smiled at him.
“Good morning, son. Shall we go?”
“Good morning Sir. But…were you waiting for me?”
“Yes. My daughter told me to wait till you came by.”
“Good grief…I am so sorry. I was just…”
“Lost in Awareness?” The old man completed his statement.
“Yes.”, Ryan looked down sheepishly.
“That’s nothing to be ashamed of, son”, the old man said.
“I know sir. It is just that….just that…I am always used to arriving right on time for everything“, he explained.
“Well, son..I am just used to arriving at the right time for everything“, he said.
Ryan stood there, gaping.
“Why don’t you come inside, son? Have a glass of water and we will then be on our way.”
Ryan thanked him for his offer and stepped inside the hut.
He looked around while the old man poured the water from the clay jug.
“What is that, sir?” he asked, pointing to a drawing that was pinned on the wall.
“Oh that? It is called an Enso. Popularly known as a Zen circle.”
The old man gave Ryan the glass of water.
“Legend goes that, as a Zen Master becomes absorbed in enlightenment, he would reach out for his paint brush and with a single stroke of paint, create an enso. He might then write his name and age below it and sometimes give it a title too.”
“Wow!”, said Ryan. “But…there is no name, no age or title in this enso”, he pointed out.
“You are right”, the old man smiled. “It was my daughter who made this, at the age of 10. She didn’t know the rules then.”
Oh! The lady is full of surprises, thought Ryan.
“But she did give it a title”, continued the old man. She whispered it in my ear after she finished the enso.
“What did she call this?”
“I am sorry, but I can’t share that. It will spoil the moment.”
“Spoil it for whom?”
“For whoever decides to engage with the enso.”
Ryan stepped closer to look at the enso.
“I think the title she gave it was ‘imperfection’. Because it is an incomplete circle.” he declared.
The old man just smiled.
“If so, you are welcome to complete it and make it perfect.”
“How?”
“There is a jar of paint and brush at the mantelpiece below it. Feel free to use it, if you wish.”
“Wow. Ok. I think I will try. Don’t mistake me. It is just that, I am sure it will appear more beautiful once the circle is closed fully.”
He walked up to the mantelpiece and carefully picked up the brush.
He then looked up at the enso.
And he stood there. Transfixed. Spellbound.
At the sheer beauty of it.
What finesse! In a single brush stroke.
She could have closed the circle. But she had not.
Letting it be as it is.
To close it would have been to complete it. Yes. But when it was closed, it would have shut itself from the infinity around it.
And it would have stood alone. Separated. Alone.
Through that small opening, that gap, she had allowed the infinite to enter and touch the finite.
Breathtaking!
But then, there was a moment of confusion. Something was not right.
“It is still imperfect.” he said to himself. “It is beautiful, but imperfect.”
He dipped the brush in the pot of ink and moved his hand towards the canvas.
‘Do you now see where the imperfection is?’ a voice in his head spoke softly.
He stood there, his hand paused in mid-air, his eyes riveted at the enso.
He held his breath, becoming aware of himself and his surroundings.
He turned around.
He saw the old man waiting patiently behind him.
There was no display of anxiety or anger in his face, as he watched Ryan.
And Ryan saw for himself.
He put the brush back in its place. He leaned on the mantelpiece and bowed his head at the enso, allowing the insight to sink in.
He then turned to face the old man.
“Nothing is missing Now.” Ryan said softly.
The old man nodded.
“That was the title my daughter whispered too, so many years ago.
Since that day, her enso has stood in the wall of this hut. Many men have come and seen it. Many of them, great artists. Some of them have even picked up the brush to try and make it perfect.
But the painting she drew has remained untouched
all these years.”
Ryan nodded. He knew why.
“For in that precise moment, when our hand moves to make the painting perfect, we awaken to the imperfection in our own minds.”
##
Later that night, after dinner, as Ryan lay in bed reading a book, Jack barged into their hut.
“Hey buddy, Sorry I couldn’t leave you a note. For some reason, the lady woke me this morning an hour earlier and asked me to head off to town. She said I wasn’t to be around the huts today. She said today was going to be a special day for you. I am sorry dude.”
Ryan just looked up at him calmly.
“Its ok, Jack. Go to sleep. You look tired” he said with a smile.
Jack was puzzled.
“You aren’t angry with me? For leaving you in the lurch? Without any advance notice? Boy…what happened to you? I thought you’d be fuming.”
Ryan closed the book.
“Today Jack, I saw the source of perfection and I saw the source of imperfection too.”
“And?” Jack held his breath.
“They are the same.”
He switched off the light by his bed, tossed the book down casually on the floor and slept.
It was now Jack’s turn to stand there, gaping.
your blogs are beautifully explaining subtle ancient Indian wisdom.
Atmaswarup
Mindblowing.Everything happening around is perfect……this belief itself leads us to peace in our minds.We have more clarity ,more focus towards whatever we are handling.
An important message for parents,”never nag your children for their imperfections.Guide them to the right path and let them experience life the way they understand.”
“I saw the source of perfection and I saw the source of imperfection too.” — Which is one”s own mind. Isn’t it ? I mean one’s own interpretation. This is to say the perfection and imperfection does not exist from the side of the object of senses but purely from the side of mind. Like we say the beauty lies in the eye of beholder, you may extend that a bit and say perfection lies in the mind of perceiver –isn’t ? …………to live in pefection and impferction has no to do with order- but a question of decision to switch view
:) Tough isn’t it ? to explain it in words and yet soak in its beauty?
aha!!
:)
Awesome.
Loved reading through….
Presented me to a lot of insight..”Nothing is missing now ”
love
KMG.
Thanks for sharing, Vamsi. Enjoy the moment :)
Luv
@UM
Too good! :)
Keep up the good work! :D
Thanks for dropping by, EC :)
A post after my very heart :)
mine too :))))
awesomeness !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thanks buddy :)
:-)))) Keep it comingggg
yess sirrr!