10 years ago….

It all started with a question my friend put to me 10 years ago….’How do we know for sure that all this really matters?’

Of course, one question led to another. It felt like I was thrown in the ocean without a life jacket.For over a year, i struggled, till every cell in my body was ablaze, seeking answers. I devoured books, meditated in monasteries, debated with philosophers, locked myself up in caves, tried body and breath contortions… till I finally gave up. Every answer just led to another question.

Then, one day, late in the evening, in the most unlikeliest of places (my home), doing a  mundane activity (of cleaning up the book shelf) , the curtain of confusion just dissolved without any warning and I saw.

It lasted for maybe a few seconds, but felt like an eternity. and then the curtain closed again.

I laughed aloud for a few minutes realizing what it meant, threw my books away, cleared all the clutter in my room and slept soundly. I knew without a doubt, that I had a taste of freedom that day.